Tags archives: Grief

  • Another Brick in the Wall

  • My dad is gone.  I've avoided saying those exact words and typing those exact words, but those are the words that keep swirling around in my head.  My dad is gone. I've been quiet about his diagnosis, his short but courageous journey, for reasons that I don't even entirely understand myself.  For someone who shares [...]
  • I Want...

  • Some years it really is easier and then, out of what feels like total left field, it's a bad year again. I've written about this week before and how my mind is completely distracted, but I don't think I've talked about the weight of it, the physical ache, the near-constant feel of tears behind my eyes. The want to just[...]
  • Sick Kids Mom PTSD

  • We're back home and on the mend. It was a bit of a tough transistion, getting nursing care arranged for both at home and at school and so Lily was away from school longer than we had hoped, but she went back late last week and has been as happy as they come ever since. She's had some rough moments where she has to ride[...]
  • Pure

  • There is a stigma to special needs adoptions, but it's not what you may think.  The stigma belongs to the birth parents, labelled as selfish, heartless or weak. It's an easy assumption to make, a way to blame.  When we first got the call about Lily, those were the thoughts that ran through my head.  What kind of person[...]
  • Brotherly Love

  • Down Syndrome Awareness Month has come to an end, but luckily here in Canada, the first week of November is Down Syndrome Awareness week.  So while a cold that has kicked my butt kept me from finishing my project for 31 for 21 project for this year, I'm happy to bring it into November as well. As you know, I've been[...]
  • 31 for 21: The Rest of the Journey

  • We took some time after Paxton to just settle for a bit.  After all of the rushing, we didn't want to keep pushing ahead and were obviously scared about more heartbreak.  We needed the time to reflect and figure out what to do differently the next time.  We knew that there would be a next time, but we just needed some [...]
  • 31 for 21: Days 5 & 6

  • 12 months after camp ended, we were back again.  It was a completely different experience leading up to our time away; I felt like a teenager who aches to be back at summer camp all through the school year because that's where she really belongs.  I couldn't wait to get back and see everyone and just immerse myself int[...]
  • #500 for 5

  • 5 years.  Since just after that horrible day 4 years ago, the goal has been 5 years.  "Take her home and grow her," they told us, "if the day comes when she needs a heart-lung transplant, the success rate improves dramatically once a child is 5."  It seemed impossible.  5 years felt more like a lifetime, especially whe[...]
  • Saying Thank You

  • On July 14, 2011 at 7:30am, 2 men became our family’s heroes. From that moment on it seemed incredible to me that we had barely spoken to them, didn’t know their names and never had the chance to say thank you. How was it possible that there were people just out there that had played such a huge role in our lives and w[...]
  • 5 Years of Love

  • 5 years ago. My sister's first pregnancy was like a stab in the heart.  Not intentionally of course, but it seemed to come so soon after I lost Ben, that I didn't know how I would handle it.  For the first while, it was okay, she could tell me about her experiences and I could relate them back to my own.  It was[...]
  • Reinventing Mother's Day

  • A mom post tonight... I've been struggling with this post for a few days, mostly because I just don't know which way to take it.  I could start by telling you all that I really am not a fan of mother's day; not because it's a hallmark holiday, but because mother's day is always the start of a bad week for me.  Mother'[...]
  • So Long, Farewell...

  • A mom post tonight.... I know that there's been a higher ratio of Mom:Lily post's lately and I promise she'll be back in the writers seat soon, but just one more for now. This was our first mother's day - our first, real, mother's day.  We had a few people celebrate with us last year, as we knew right around the holi[...]